Good Mournings

I'll occasionally have these mornings where I wake up feeling inadequate for absolutely no reason at all.

At first I imagine that it's probably a nightmare that I can't recall. I probably spent the night tossing and turning. It might have been over a heartbreak I had to endure in an unconscious state, to someone I'll never know really. Or maybe we never even made it to the point of heartbreak, I spent the entire night chasing someone who did not care to look back in my direction... how incredibly cruel and unfair. My pet hamster probably grew old and died. Maybe my parents grew sick and died prematurely. Maybe I followed. Or worse, maybe I didn't.

All these uncertainties well before 9:00 am.

But then I'm still not satisfied. So now I'm looking around to find what could possibly be contributing to me feeling this way, or rather, looking for something to pin these emotions on. I need a reason, a reasonable excuse, it would just make things a lot easier. To know why. It would give me the closure that I need to move on with my day or at least the illusion of one. I manage to get up and let my feet dangle between the wooden floor and the height of my bed. I muster just enough strength during those few seconds of adrenaline rush. I look around once more.

Nothing. Nobody.

Just me.