And We're Back in Business, Folks

"The Arts Garage", Philadelphia, PA. 2012. Canon XSi.

When Spring Break Ceases to Exist in Your Life, Life Sucks

Sicily, Italy. 2012. Canon XSi.

This is the first year that I'm not participating in Spring Break as the graduated, employed, boring old person I've grown up to be. To put it simply, I'm disappointed and confused... is this real life? I think having time off proves all the more necessary as one grows older but the way life is set up works against this logic. While college students are entitled to all sorts of breaks and Red Solo Cups, these luxuries are taken from you as you're handed a degree. Had I known this, I might have fended off my own graduation myself. It's a sinking feeling one gets while scrolling through multiple social media feeds, looking at parts of the world #filtered off a flat iPhone screen. What I would give to sit out on my parents' roof in the suburbs of California, thumb through comics, sip lemonade, and stay up gossiping on the phone with old childhood friends. Now March turns into this long, wretched stretch of waiting and working. Waiting for summer. Working because. Someone please lend me their Spring Break, I'll return it by the end of next week in perfect condition. Promise.

How I Imagine My Wedding & Honeymoon Will Be Like

There will be lotsa lotsa champagne. A champagne fountain, ice sculptures made of frozen champagne then bottled champagne to take home later. It'll be required of all my guests to be schwasted throughout the whole ceremony, expected of them to clank their glasses and encourage intense make out sessions between me and my prince, to the point my parents blush and turn away while scolding my little brothers for staring. A female friend will D.J. I will be so juiced up that I'll slur my vows, but prince will know exactly what I mean anyway. "I'll do you. I mean, I do." Oops! He'll save me from further embarrassment by putting his lips to mine to shut me up then whisper in my ear, "I'd do you too." My earring will dangle.

I will wear a long, beige chiffon dress with a large, floppy hat. Heels to match. My boobies will be augmented with boob tape for the occasion. At the reception, I will change into a black slip that hint my nipples and put on a pinbox hat. Garder on my thigh. Barefoot. No one will be a wallflower that night, every body will dance for me, with me. Barefoot.

Most of our savings will have gone toward the honeymoon though. Prince would have obviously pitched in a bit more like a real gent. A trip around to only the most exotic places in the world, with big leaves, wildcats and a clear body of water, where we'll make brutal but sanctioned love with lotsa lotsa licks, biting and beating -- unapologetic -- under stars. I'll have sand everywhere. His hand will travel, station a little below my waist, and give way to meaningful squeezes from time to time. I'll swig a bottle of white wine and toast to "us," "the universe" and "how it works." He'll find my mess and fondness for great things kind of adorable, tousle my hair and pull me in closer, poke at my hickeys with his rung finger then peck them with his teeth. He will lean in and say "babe, you smell good," and I'll answer "perfume." He will be my husband and I will still be new.

That's how I imagine my wedding & honeymoon will be like but who knows!

xXx